There are various factors to consider while planning a second wedding, despite how frequent they have become. It is essential to proceed cautiously and tactfully while organizing a second wedding, whether after a divorce or losing a spouse. Let’s look at Viva Wedding Photography‘s second wedding etiquette to ensure a lovely ceremony and reception.
2nd Wedding Etiquette For Married Couples
What About The Wedding Announcement?
This is the most challenging part of the second marriage etiquette. Maybe the most important rule to follow while planning a second wedding is to be careful about who you tell and how.
You should inform your kids (if you have any) initially about the upcoming nuptials. Accompanying you should be your parents, close relatives, and closest friends. If your relationship with your ex-partner is amicable, you may want to tell them yourselves rather than risk them hearing it from someone else.
How About A Registry?
Despite what you may have heard, the answer is yes. Even if you clarify that you don’t want presents, well-meaning loved ones may still want to get you something to celebrate the occasion. In that case, it’s best to assist them in finding a wedding gift that truly expresses who you are and what you value.
Prioritize the things that are truly important to you. Don’t bother with necessities like a stove or oven if you already have a functioning household. Now is the perfect moment to shop for new fine china, everyday dishes, or whatever else has been on your mind.
What If We Asked For Money Instead?
No matter how often you’ve tied the knot, bringing up money is inappropriate. Nonetheless, there are other pairs whose sole motivation is to amass cash gifts. Word of mouth or a cash fund register site would be ideal for disseminating this information.
Does It Make Sense To Invite My Former?
Unless you and your ex had a really close and friendly relationship, the answer is no. Following second wedding etiquette, your ex need not be invited to your wedding. You should consult with your future spouse if inviting an ex-lover is OK.
If you remain connected to your in-laws after the death of your first husband, you may wish to extend an invitation to them to your wedding. Nevertheless, you should be prepared for them to offer condolences instead of attending.
Is Having A Bridal Shower And/Or Separate Bachelor And Bachelorette Parties Okay?
That’s a more complex scenario. Celebrations such as a bridal shower and bachelorette party are allowed if it is the bride’s first wedding. Several of the typical items given as bridal shower gifts, such as dishes, silverware, and cookware, are things that the bride should already have if this is her second wedding.
Of course, many newlyweds choose to update their home furnishings to show off their status as married couples by purchasing brand-new items. Talk it over with your loved ones. A wedding shower is acceptable in second wedding etiquette if someone offers to arrange a party for you and everybody is excited about the idea.
How Do I Make Sure Our Kids Are A Part Of Our Wedding?
It’s important to let your kids in on the big news as soon as possible following the second wedding etiquette. This is also a great time to talk to them about what they can do to help at the wedding.
Little kids may wish to help as flower girls or ring bearers, and those older may be interested in becoming bridesmaids or groomsmen. A child may also walk a parent to the altar.
Think of ways to involve the kids in the ceremony and discuss them with the officiant. When they come to you, can they take your vows? What about a passage that makes you think of your own family? Is there something that you can do as a group at the altar to help bring you closer together?
Younger visitors can be entrusted with chores such as handing out wedding programs and favors during the reception.
If a child hesitates to participate, don’t push him or her. In the event of a divorce, it may take some time for the children to accept that their parents will not reconcile their differences.
Is It Acceptable If I Wear A White Wedding Gown And A Veil?
A second wedding is acceptable to answer a frequently asked etiquette topic. If you’re tying the knot for the second, third, or tenth time, you can still wear white with a veil. Wedding attire should be chosen based on how the bride feels about herself, not the dress’s color.
While the officiant at your ceremony may insist that you wear a veil, it is ultimately up to the bride to determine if she feels beautiful with or without one. Besides a hat, you can accessorize your head with a crown, comb, hairpins, flowers, or even a tiara.
What About Having The Wedding At A Church Or Other Place Of Worship?
Whether a formerly married individual can remarry in their faith’s sacred space is a matter of interpretation. Talk to your priest or minister about the remarriage “laws” in your faith. Perhaps this person would happily officiate the event, but not in their place of worship. A church blessing can follow a civil ceremony if desired.
Is A Big Party Possible?
One’s second wedding ceremony can be as little and simple or as large and elaborate as desired. Nowadays, a second wedding celebration can be anything from an intimate dinner with close relatives and friends to a grand affair with hundreds of wedding guests at a posh venue by the sea. Try incorporating new components and details into this one to avoid a sense of déjà vu from your previous wedding(s).
It’s up to the newlyweds whether or not they choose to participate in reception traditions like the first dance, parent dances, wedding party entry, tossing the bouquet, and cutting the cake.
Is Asking Our Parents To Contribute To The Wedding’s Cost Reasonable?
Second wedding etiquette suggests that second-time spouses not count on their parents to pay for their big day, even if most do so for their children’s first nuptials. Second-time weds typically have more disposable income and can cover all the ceremony and reception costs independently. Parents can help pay for the wedding to the extent they are willing to do so.
Who Should Be The One To Take The Bride’s Hand Walking Down The Aisle?
Each second-time bride with living parents can have one of them walk her down the aisle (s). Even a second-time groom may want his parents to walk him down the aisle. To further emphasize the union of two families rather than just two individuals, some couples have their child(ren) walk them down the aisle.
Is It Possible To Hold A Formal Wedding Reception After A Second Marriage?
There is no reason you can’t have bridesmaids and groomsmen or brides women in your second wedding to recognize family and close friends conventionally. Even the wedding party from your prior wedding can be included in this one. One method to involve your kids in the wedding is to have them serve as pageboys or flower girls.
As per the second wedding protocol, the duties of the wedding party would stay the same: throwing a shower, attending pre-wedding events, and wearing a dress or suit chosen by the couple or according to their specifications. If they have the means, the happy couple may offer to pay for the wedding party’s attire, especially if you make the final fashion decisions.
>>> Recommend reading: The Best Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette Tips For A Perfect Event
Second Wedding Etiquette For Guests
Is There A Custom Of Giving A Gift To A Remarried Person?
You are not obligated to provide a gift for a second marriage, but doing so is a nice gesture. It’s appropriate to inquire whether the couple has set up a registry, especially considering that many couples planning a second wedding are less likely to want to publicize theirs.
They’ll be flattered by your interest and will probably be happy to send you properly. If you can’t or don’t want to buy a wedding gift, at least send a card or note expressing your joy and gratitude for the happy couple and your attendance at the wedding.
What Are Some Excellent Present Ideas In The Absence Of A Registry?
Generally, second-wedding presents are more modest than those for the first wedding. What you provide depends on your emotional and financial stability and knowledge of the couple’s interests. You should try to anticipate what might pique their interest.
If you’re having trouble thinking of a present, consider whether they have well-established interests or hobbies. Gifts of experience, such as a couple’s cookery class, salsa classes, or a gift ticket to a favorite restaurant, are always well-received and allow you to break free from the traditional notions of wedding gifts(such as plate ware or bedding).
>>> Further reading:
- Top Tips For Winning Mother Of The Groom Etiquette (2023)
- The Wedding Invitation Etiquette Guides For Avoid Mistakes
Second weddings can be just as special and meaningful as the first, but it’s important to approach the planning process with care and sensitivity. By following the second wedding etiquette of Viva Wedding Photography, you can create a celebration that reflects your love and commitment to each other while respecting the feelings of those around you.
