If you have ever been invited to a wedding, you know how exciting and special it is to witness the union of two people who love each other. But there are many wedding guest etiquette rules to keep in mind when you receive an invitation. We all don’t want to ruin the wedding by making faux pas or offending the couple or their families, right?
That’s why Viva Wedding Photography has prepared this guide to wedding dos and don’ts, which covers everything from choosing the right outfit to behaving appropriately during the ceremony and reception. So, are you ready to attend the wedding? Let’s dive in!
The 10 Essential “Dos” of Wedding Etiquette for Guests
1. RSVP As Soon As Possible
One of the first rules of being a gracious wedding guest is to practice proper wedding RSVP etiquette and reply promptly. Wedding invitations usually arrive six to eight weeks before the event, along with an RSVP card that you need to fill out and send back. If it’s a destination wedding, they may come even earlier. You may have already marked the date and location on your calendar after getting the save-the-dates, but the invitation and the RSVP card are the official confirmation.
Whether you can attend or not, don’t ignore the RSVP date. It’s not a random number but a carefully chosen deadline that the couple needs to finalize their plans. They have to arrange the seating chart, the catering, and more, and they need your cooperation. So, let the couple know your decision as soon as possible.
2. Check Out Their Wedding Website
Before you contact the newlyweds or their family with any questions, make sure you explore their wedding website first. The wedding website is a one-stop shop for all the information guests need to know. It contains the couple’s story, the wedding details, the wedding dress code, the accommodation options, the travel directions, and the schedule of events.
That site is also a great way to RSVP, send your best wedding wishes, and see who else is attending. So don’t miss out on this valuable resource, and check out their wedding site as soon as you receive the invitation.
3. Follow the Wedding Guest Dress Etiquette
As a guest, you want to look your best and honor the couple’s wishes. That’s why it’s important to follow the dress code on the invitation and the wedding guest attire etiquette.
The dress code tells you what kind of attire is expected for the event. For instance, if it says “black tie”, you need to dress up formally, like wearing a tuxedo or a long evening gown. But if it says “beach casual”, you can go for something more relaxed and breezy. The time of the wedding also matters when picking your outfit. A good rule of thumb is to choose something that can work both day and night if the event starts in the late afternoon. But if it is after 6 p.m., you should stick to cocktail dresses or suits.
4. Show Up on Time
Contrary to the notion of being “fashionably late,” a key tip for traditional wedding guest etiquette for guests is to prioritize early arrival. Ideally, guests should schedule their arrival 30 minutes before the ceremony’s invitation starts. This gives you time to park, find a seat, and get comfortable before the ceremony starts.
For those arriving after the ceremony has commenced, discreetly slipping into the back row or waiting for guidance from coordinators or ushers is considered proper etiquette. If the processional is underway, guests should wait until everyone reaches the altar before finding a seat. Punctuality, in essence, showcases respect for the couple’s special day and contributes to a smooth and enjoyable experience for all attendees.
5. Respect the Seating Chart
Following the seating chart is a wedding guest rule you should not break. The couple has carefully crafted a map of who sits where, based on their guests’ traits, phases, and bonds. When you arrive at the reception, you may notice a seating chart or name place cards. By sticking to that plan, you are showing respect to the couple and their other guests.
6. Give A Thoughtful Gift
When you receive a wedding invitation, one of the first things you should do is check out the couple’s wedding registry. Sending a gift is not only a nice gesture but also a way to show your support and celebrate their love. While you technically have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift, it’s better to do it sooner rather than later. Here’s why:
- The couple has carefully chosen the items they want or need for their new life together. By shopping early, you can make sure you get them something they will love and use.
- The couple will appreciate receiving gifts throughout their wedding journey. It can help them plan, budget, and set up their home.
- The couple’s registry may run out of options as the wedding day approaches. If you wait too long, you may end up with limited choices or having to buy something off-registry.
To avoid any hassle or confusion, always send the gift to the address associated with the registry. This is part of the wedding gift etiquette for guests, as it prevents them from having to transport the gifts themselves. Don’t bring it to the wedding, as it can cause security and storage issues. If you prefer to give cash, put it in a card with a heartfelt note and hand it to the couple or their designated person at the reception.
>>> Recommend reading: How Much Money To Give At A Wedding?
7. Attend Both the Ceremony and Reception
This wedding etiquette for guests may seem clear, but some guests think that it’s flexible. Unless the invitation says otherwise, guests at a wedding should show up for both the ceremony and the reception. Don’t even think about skipping one for the other unless you have a genuine emergency and have informed the couple well ahead of time. Remember, you’re a special guest who was personally chosen to witness the couple’s happy moments.
8. Keep Toasts Short and Sweet
If you have the honor of giving a toast or speech at any point in that day, remember this golden rule: keep it short and sweet. That doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice the quality or the emotion of your words, but it does mean you have to be concise and clear. Focus on one story or message that captures the essence of what you want to say, and aim for no more than five minutes. The goal is to touch the hearts of the listeners, not bore them with endless rambling.
Another tip is to avoid reading your speech. This will make you sound more natural and authentic, and help you connect with your audience. Speak from your heart or use a notecard with bullet points as a reminder. Lastly, don’t forget to practice beforehand to polish your speech.
9. Use Social Media Wisely
Weddings are special occasions that deserve to be cherished and respected. That’s why you should follow the wedding rules for guests, especially when it comes to using social media at a wedding. Don’t spoil the surprise by posting photos or videos of the ceremony before the couple does. If the couple has given you any social media rules, follow them.
Some couples prefer to have an unplugged wedding, where they ask you to turn off your devices and enjoy the moment. Even if you are allowed to use social media, you should still be thoughtful about what you post and how you post it. Don’t share anything that could be rude or embarrassing, and respect the privacy of the other guests.
10. Greeting the Bride and Groom’s Families
As you celebrate the love of the happy couple, don’t miss the opportunity to congratulate their parents on raising such wonderful children. If this is your first encounter with them, introduce yourself with a smile and tell them how you know the bride or groom. They probably invested a lot of time and energy into the wedding planning process, so express your gratitude for their efforts and compliment them on the beautiful ceremony.
>>> Recommend Reading: The Ultimate Checklist of Wedding Etiquette for the Parent of the Groom
The 10 Key “Don’ts” to Remember of Wedding Guest Etiquette
11. Don’t Dress Like the Bride
What if you have a pretty off-white dress that you just bought and are dying to wear? Sorry, but you’ll have to save it for another occasion, because the old adage about never wearing white to a wedding still holds true. This is one of the most crucial wedding guest rules on what not to wear, as it shows respect and consideration for the bride. Even if she is wearing a different color, it’s better to be safe than sorry and avoid wearing anything flashy that might take away from the wedding theme or the bride’s dress.
Instead, consider wearing a different color or dress style that complements the bride’s attire and allows her to shine on her big day. You can still look fabulous without stealing the spotlight from the star of the show. After all, you’re there to celebrate her happiness, not to compete with her.
12. Don’t Bring Extra Guests Without Invitation
Only attend the wedding if you have been invited, and only bring additional guests if they have also been invited. This is part of the wedding guest etiquette plus-one, which means respecting the couple’s decision on who they want to share their special day with. Bringing uninvited guests can cause added stress for the hosts and impact the overall experience for all guests.
13. Don’t Assume Children Are Invited
When you receive a wedding invitation, one of the first things you need to figure out is whether you can bring your kids along or not. Some couples make it easy for you by stating “adults only” on their invites, which means you have to find a babysitter for the big day.
But some couples are more subtle and leave it up to you to interpret the wording. If the invitation is addressed to “The Geller Family,” you can safely assume that your kids are invited too. But if it’s just to “Mr. and Mrs. Geller,” you better leave your munchkins at home.
Another way to find out if kids are welcome at the wedding is to check the couple’s wedding website. They might have a section where they explain their policy on having kids at the event adhering to wedding etiquette for invitations. They might say no kids at all, or only kids above a certain age, or only kids at the reception and not the ceremony. Whatever they say, respect their wishes and don’t try to bend the rules.
14. Don’t Drink Too Much
Don’t mistake the open bar for a personal challenge to test your prowess in speed-drinking. Not only does this appear as if you’re exploiting the bride and groom’s gracious gesture for a good time, but it usually ends with someone on the brink of wobbly way too soon.
While sipping a cocktail or two is the customary wedding ritual, let’s not go overboard. When we drink too much, we lose our sense of decision and do or say things that we would regret later. So, have some food in your stomach, and drink some water in between. And if you drove to the wedding, swap the car keys for a cab or car service when the celebration winds down. This is one of the wedding rules for guests that you should always remember.
15. Don’t Interrupt the Ceremony
Be respectful and attentive during the ceremony and speeches, and avoid talking or distracting others during these critical moments. It’s nice wedding etiquette for guests to allow the bride and groom and other guests to have time to interact and enjoy the celebration.
If you’re going to a wedding that’s different from what you’re used to, just watch and learn from the other guests. They’ll show you how to follow the ceremony and reception. Usually, the family members will lead the charge, and the rest will copy them. (For example, if the front row stands up, so should you). In weddings that mix different cultures or religions, the officiant will often tell you what’s going on, or you can read the program. You don’t have to join in any rituals that you don’t feel comfortable with, but you should respect and appreciate them.
After the ceremony ends and the couple seal their vows with a kiss, remain in your spot. Don’t get up or leave yet. Instead, wait for the processional, which is the moment when the couple, the wedding party, and the family members make their way out of the ceremony area. You’ll have a chance to meet them and congratulate them later at the reception.
16. Don’t Make Inappropriate Comments
Keep the focus on the couple and avoid making political or controversial statements or using the occasion for self-promotion. Negative or critical comments should also be avoided regarding the wedding or any part of it. So, make the happy couple’s big day as memorable and fun as possible by keeping the vibe light and courteous.
17. Don’t Steal the Spotlight by Making the Day About You
A wedding is a special occasion for the couple and their loved ones, and you should respect that by not trying to upstage with your own news or drama. Don’t even think about proposing to your partner at someone else’s wedding, unless you have the bride and groom’s blessing. In fact, don’t make any big announcements at all, such as a pregnancy, a promotion, or a divorce. Save those for another time and place.
18. Don’t Ignore the Gift Requests
Some couples might have a specific request for their wedding gifts, and you should respect that. If the invitation clearly says no gifts, then don’t bring any. This is part of the wedding gift etiquette for guests, which means understanding and honoring the couple’s preferences. If you bring a gift anyway, you might make them and the other guests feel awkward or embarrassed. You might also go against their values or beliefs if they have a reason for not wanting any gifts.
Some other couples might prefer cash wedding gifts over traditional presents. This is because cash can be used to help pay for the wedding itself, for the honeymoon, or to donate to some charity. Cash gifts can also be convenient for guests traveling from out of town who don’t want to lug a physical gift with them. Therefore, don’t disregard the couple’s requests and give them what they want.
19. Don’t Forget Your Wedding Favor Behind
The wedding favor might seem like a small thing, but it’s actually a token of gratitude from the couple for your attendance and support on their big day. They put time, thought, and money into choosing or making something that reflects their personality and style. Therefore, it’s a nice gesture to take it with you and thank them for it. If it’s not something you really like or need, you can always take it with you and find a way to reuse it or give it to someone who needs it more.
20. Don’t Leave Too Early
Leaving a wedding too early is a faux pas that you should avoid. Generally speaking, following the wedding etiquette for guests means staying until the cake cutting, which is a symbolic gesture of the couple’s union. However, many modern couples are opting for a more relaxed reception vibe and schedule, so the cake-cutting may not happen at all. In that case, the least you can do is to stay through dinner and offer your brief congratulations to the couple.
Advice for Hosts to Promote Correct Wedding Guest Etiquette
If you are hosting a wedding, you want to make sure that your guests have a great time and behave appropriately. But how can you encourage them to follow the wedding dos and don’ts for guests? Here are some tips for hosts to promote a respectful and enjoyable atmosphere while adhering to wedding etiquette for inviting guests:
- Communicate expectations: Communicate the dress code, photo policy, and any other expectations or requests in your wedding invitation or through other means.
- Provide clear instructions: Indicate the schedule of events and any specific instructions you have for the guests.
- Hire professional staff: Hire professional staff, such as a wedding planner or a venue manager, to ensure that everything runs smoothly and that guests are guided through the proper etiquette.
- Gently remind guests: If you notice guests breaking etiquette rules, politely remind them of your expectations.
- Have a plan for disruptive behavior: Have a plan for dealing with disruptive or inappropriate behavior from guests, such as asking them to leave or seeking the assistance of professional staff.
- Provide ample seating: Provide enough seating so guests are kept from standing or cramped.
>>> Read More:
- The Best Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette Tips For A Perfect Event
- Wedding Gift Etiquette: Ultimate Guides To Impress The Couple
- Second Wedding Etiquette: A Guide For A Graceful Celebration
To summarize, understanding and adhering to gracious wedding guest etiquette is critical for ensuring that the wedding day succeeds for all parties involved. Whether you’re a close family member or a distant acquaintance, being aware of wedding customs and expectations can help you show respect to the couple and their families while also ensuring that the day runs smoothly. You may be confident that following the ideas and recommendations mentioned in this article from Viva Wedding Photography will create a good impression and have a great time celebrating the happy couple on their special day.
